This Voting Age Argument Will Shock You!

Today on Phil’s Rants…

“Democratic Rights of Humans Aged 16-18.”

Now I’m not sure how popular this one will be, but here we go.

This topic has arisen again recently and there’s a lot of anger on both sides, which seems to be the case with just about every political topic at the moment. Let’s just take it all down a couple of notches and look at it logically, shall we?

I’ve been doing some demographic research (by which I mean I’ve argued with people on Twitter and in Facebook threads) and I’m going to take you through some of the opinions I’ve come across. Using a magical recipe with left-leaning politics at its core and some tasty common sense, reasonable thinking and a little dusting of contempt for general idiocy thrown in, I will critically assess each of these opinions in a sensible manner for your amusement as my adoring public. Because I love ya’s.

1.The voting age should be lowered to 16:
Yeah. Why not? (I'm going to answer that question later) People don’t give 16 and 17 year-olds enough credit for their political awareness, particularly in this day and age. There are plenty of things the government deems them able to do; get married, have sex, ride a moped, leave home, apply for a provisional driving licence, leave school, work full-time, pay tax and national insurance (more on that later), join a trade union, independently apply for a passport, join the forces (with parental consent), register as a blood donor, give blood (at 17), change their name by deed poll, pilot a glider, buy premium bonds and consent to medical treatment as well as paying for prescriptions.
I was politically aware enough to vote at 16 and so were a lot of my peers.

2. 16-18 year olds are indoctrinated by education.
Yes, they are. And so are you. And so is everyone regardless of age.

3. 16 year-olds aren’t emotionally mature or politically aware enough to vote.
Not true. I’ve met a lot of people that age who are emotionally mature and politically aware enough to vote. I’ve met a lot of people over 40 who aren’t.

4. People with dementia shouldn’t be allowed to vote.
Actually, as much as I believe in democratic freedom, I’m weird about this one. It’s one thing to not understand current affairs… it’s another altogether to not know what decade it is. Not much point letting people vote in 2019 if they go to the ballot boxes and tick Conservative because they think they’re voting in a third term for Winston Churchill.

5. Then why not lower it to nursery age... why not have a second, third. Fourth. Fifth. Sixth referendum. WHY, because 18 HAS been decided.
(Direct quote)
The childish hyperbole has completely ruined your point. Your very existence is living proof that our education system is a fucking joke.

6. Give the vote to 16 year-olds. It’s their future.
Yep. Can’t argue with that. As long as they’re caught up on what’s happening and they understand it, they deserve to say their bit.

7. They should up the age to 21.
This one has sub-points. Bear with me.

7.i. 18 year olds are too young to understand politics.
Bollocks. They’re old enough to do just about everything else restricted by age in this country except adopt a child, supervise a learner driver and fly a passenger plane.

7.ii. They’ll just vote for whatever their liberal professors vote for.
They don’t give a shit about their professors’ political affiliations. People have made their minds up about it on their own by then.

8. But…but.... I don't want to apply for a visa, my fine arts degree means I am one of the intelligentsia and you are RUINING my life…
(Another direct quote. Sarcasm, in case you missed it)
There are no words to express how much I hope you get trampled by a herd of stampeding badgers on your way home from your job at the mustard gas factory tonight you ignorant, obnoxious waste of DNA.

9. Let kids be kids!
Whilst I agree up to a point, it’s too late for that. They know that they live on a doomed planet with old bigoted white men deciding their future on their behalf and they’re VERY pissed off. That ship has sailed I’m afraid.

10. 16 year olds aren’t capable of making those decisions.
Shamima Begum was though, right…

11. They should up the voting age to 25.
No. That’s ridiculous.

12. They should up the voting age to 30.
No. That’s moronic. I’m 28, I’m very politically aware and I, for one, will NOT have my democratic right to vote in this country infringed just because you don’t like the idea of giving the vote to a generation you don’t understand.

13. They should up the voting age to 35.
It’s been a long time since you’ve met someone under 35 hasn’t it.

14. They should up the voting age to 40.
(Seriously. Direct quote.)
Die. Die horribly.

And the bonus ball, number 15.

"If they’re old enough to pay taxes, they’re old enough to vote."

Yep! Spot on! Nobody should be expected to contribute their hard-earned money to a government they aren’t allowed to vote for. Talk about betraying democracy!

Just give them the vote. Like all democratic rights arguments of history, now the cat is out of the bag, voting 'no' on it isn't enough. If the 16-18s want it bad enough, they'll fight tooth and nail until they get it. Parliament may as well save themselves the trouble.

Phil's Rants Episode... something. I'm not sure, I've lost count.

Anywhich...

Let's consider an alternative universe in British politics for a sec...

Scenario: Parliament followed proper parliamentary procedure regarding the 2016 referendum and the vote was subject to a supermajority (2/3) instead of 50/50 (because the result will affect certain personal rights and freedoms and will affect the economy, under which circumstances a supermajority is required. If you don't believe me, look it up).

Result 1: We remain in the EU because we made a sensible decision and we understand that 52% isn't any sane, rational person's definition of a decisive majority and without a majority of more than 66%, the vote fails to pass and everything stays the way it is.

Result 2: We wouldn't have spent 3 years bitching about it with one side demanding another referendum and the other hurling out blood-curdling cries of "you lost, get over it", "it was the will of the people" and my personal favourite (from a social group that staunchly maintains that they're NOT racists) "take our country back, we didn't win 2 world wars so we could negotiate with Germans!"

Result 3: We wouldn't have 2 sides at what must now be about 50/50, both stubbornly intransigent, meaning we have a complete political stalemate in which absolutely nothing gets decided because each side just straight-up vetoes every suggestion by the other like two equally sized cats trying to push each other over the edge of a table.

Result 4: We might still have had to put up with Theresa May's malevolent, rage-inspiring fake smile on the news every day but at least Boris DeSmallpox Johnson probably wouldn't even be politically relevant and he'd happily just sit at home reading the Daily Mail every day drinking radioactive waste with his wife or pet komodo dragon or whatever the fuck she is.

Result 5: We'd likely forget that David Cameron ever existed.

Result 6: We wouldn't have a political regime under which we're almost contractually obligated to lick Donald Trump's arse now that our trade deal with the EU is all but out the proverbial window.

Result 7: We wouldn't be sending that yellow-haired mole-person backwards and forwards to Brussels to stutter through pathetic deals and make the UK a laughing stock of, not only Europe but America (and given the weird school bully impersonating dick weevil they've got in the white house, we're now basically the poor skinny nerd kid who's about to get robbed of his lunch money on the way to A/V club).

Yes, we understand that remain lost the referendum.

No, we will not "get over it".

No, we don't give a shit what colour our passports are.

Yes, we quite like Europe. It's lovely. Have you been?

Yes, we would like to see Boris Johnson killed in a freak skydiving accident.

And no, we are not under any democratic obligation to just sit back and let this ridiculous shitshow happen for the sake of a vote that took place 3 years ago which our side lost by 2 measly percent on an issue about which the whole nation was systematically mislead and lied to for the sake of the self-serving wankers who planned it.

This Quick Life Hack Will Stop You From Being Dead!

This week on Phil's Facebook Rampage, "Vaccines and Why You Shouldn't Die Unless Absolutely Necessary".

Can people please stop spreading the conspiracy theory that the flu vaccine causes flu. It's not a live vaccine, it's not possible to contract flu from it and at-risk people are starting to abstain from getting vaccinated which is only going to aid the spread of the disease.

If you or someone you know (urban myth for short) have got extreme flu-like symptoms after getting the vaccine, you either already had the disease by coincidence, you've got some other disease that's been misdiagnosed as flu or you've had an allergic reaction to the vaccine.

Remember, symptoms aren't caused by the virus, they're caused by the body's immune response to the antigens in the bloodstream. There's no live flu virus in the vaccine so, although it can cause mild flu-like symptoms (which is your body's fault, not the disease) it categorically CANNOT infect you with influenza.

IT IS A MYTH!

If the myth continues to circulate and people keep believing that their opinion, or the opinion of their guru, shaman, faith healer, witch doctor, exorcist, leech merchant, commoner garden con artist, actual witch or Avon sales representative, is more valid than a series of facts stated by a registered medical professional who probably went to university at some point, people will die of influenza of their own volition because they're idiots.

And while we're on the subject, if you're too stupid to vaccinate yourself, fine, die, but there's plenty of diseases floating around to which your kids aren't immune. Don't let them suffer for your horoscope reading, living-laughing-loving, essential oil & prosecco powered fuckwittery. It doesn't cause autism or cancer. It won't make your child a zombie or push them into a spectrum of sexuality called "astro-gay" or any of that shit and if you're wondering "We only invented vaccines like 50 years ago, people were fine before that!", no they weren't, Karen. They died. They died of stupid poxy diseases that can now either be prevented with a vaccine or cured with a box of mild anti-biotics and a week in bed binge-watching Community on Amazon Prime (post sponsored by).

Get a grip.

And watch Community. It's really funny.

Greta Thunberg Is NOT A Government Puppet

The climate change issue* would be moving a lot faster if people were willing to accept the possibility that teenagers are capable of doing... well... just about anything without being 'controlled' by the Swedish government. Or any government for that matter. Would you like some examples to mull over? Of course you would! Well here's a few...

• Louis Braille - Invented a system of reading for the blind in 1824 at age 15. No government control.
• Barbara Johns - Led a strike against substandard facilities in a segregated school in 1951 at age 16 attracting the attention of two NAACP lawyers leading to a verdict that rendered segregated education unconstitutional. No government control.
• Laura Dekker - Sailed around the world on her own in 2010 at age 14, setting a time record which is yet to be beaten. No government control (although it's worth noting that the Dutch government shut down her first attempt the previous year).
• Jordan Romero - Climbed Everest in 2009 at age 13 and had climbed the highest mountain on each continent (The Seven Summits) by age 15. No government control.
• Wayne Gretzky - Started his pro hockey career at 17. Signed the NHL's first ever 10 year contract and went on to become the single greatest hockey player of all time. Not sure about government control, just had to put this one in because I love Wayne Gretzky.
• Malala Yousafzai - Pakistani activist who made her first public speech against the Taliban at age 11. Spent the next few years encouraging young girls in the middle east to pursue an education. Attracted the world's attention at age 15 after the Taliban attempted to assassinate her. Won the Nobel at 17. No government control.
• Mary Shelley - Wrote Frankenstein in 1815 at age 18. No government control.
• Joan of Arc - Led an army against the English invaders at the castle of Chinon in 1429 at age 19. Was burned at the stake at age 21. Pretty much was the French government. (Admittedly did succumb to government control a bit shortly before she was violently executed).
• Alexander the Great - Founded his first colony at age 16 before conquering just about every major landmass surrounding the Mediterranean sea. Was the government, controlled everyone else.
• Mark Zuckerberg - Created Facebook at age 19. Couldn't even be controlled by a tribunal of Harvard professors, never mind the government. 
• Gavrilo Princip - Assassinated Archduke Franz Ferdinand in 1914 at age 19 starting the chain reaction which led to World War I. Sent Austro-Hungarian invaders out of Bosnia at gun point... with no government control.
• Frank Abagnale - Began a career as a con artist in the 60's at age 15. Successfully upheld fake jobs as an airline pilot, a school teacher, a doctor and even a lawyer after successfully passing the Louisiana bar exam (without cheating), all before turning 20. Cashed tens of millions of dollars in forged cheques across his career and escaped from Federal prison in 1971 using a false business card claiming he was an undercover FBI agent. Spent most of his early years trying to stay as far away from government control as possible.

Intelligent, driven teenagers have a long, well documented history of acting in their own interests to change the face of the planet. Don't trivialise them. Don't laugh at them. Don't bully them. Most importantly DO NOT underestimate them.

Misjudging the angry youth is, in hindsight, invariably a mistake and in some cases, the last mistake any civilisation makes before collapsing.

*I refuse to call climate change a debate. If you think it's not happening or it's not our fault, you haven't read enough. Sorry.

Thanks for reading!